Eden
New Member
...Stapled on Wings...
Posts: 11
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Post by Eden on Nov 28, 2006 18:18:31 GMT -5
Midnight Lullaby
The sun goes down The light quickly disappears All become quiet, unheard As night becomes clear
Shadows casts up above The dark sky of the night Twinkle, the shattered crystals The bright stars of light
Open the window Enters the dreaded darkened cold To rest my arms on the window sill The night I see and behold
Covers all in dark Night drowns the sky like a black deep sea Painted with ink of black The Midnight Lullaby calls to me
How I wish it to stay To kill day's light But only a guest, a visitor Longing for the eternal darkness of night
The burning candle at my side Sways and flickers, moving about The wind heavily embraces it To end it's short life, going out
All Alone, by myself Silent, complete emptiness Absence of self Madness with my loniness
Covered in Darkness Night drowns the sky like a black deep sea Painted with ink of black The Midnight Lullaby calls to me
Walking in grim dark Brown, black and grey Staring luminous eyes Nightly creatures have come out to play
White, yellow eyes They watch, they glare Stop it! Look away! But they continue to stare
Run down the dark path Run, run, runaway Run from the dark night, run, runaway But here I am to stay
Drowned and covered in dark Night drowns the sky like a black deep sea Painted with ink of black Bound to the Midnight Lullaby, it still calls to me
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Post by theundergrad on Nov 29, 2006 22:45:45 GMT -5
i read the perfect lie too. i like this one more. your poems need more structure, a story instead of all description. a plot almost, or something. a narrator's point of view would make them better, and make them flow in a more comprehensive way. And more punctuation marks to guide the rythme. "madness with my lonlyness" kickass.
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Post by theundergrad on Nov 29, 2006 23:14:05 GMT -5
i continue it :
Now all alone, by myself. Complete emptiness, and absence of self. Madness, in my lonlyness.
As I stare into the black, Nothing stares at me back. Painted landscape streches far. Painted with ink of black.
Then a peace a clam comes forth, and draws me along. I step out into the air And leave behind worry and care.
There's someone sing, far away. A lullaby, sounds black and grey. Its drone continues untill I find, A child who signs my lullaby.
On top of a roof the child sat. Curled up and purring like a cat. "What is it child, that you sing? This Midnight Lullaby - this thing?"
The child looked at me and said, "Why do you care? Aren't you dead?" I said, "No I'm not! I'm talking to you!" He said, "I'm dead and you hear me too."
With that my dream came to an end, I stumbled 'round as my eyes opened, Still standing at my window sill. Then I went to bed feeling ill.
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Eden
New Member
...Stapled on Wings...
Posts: 11
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Post by Eden on Dec 3, 2006 0:50:32 GMT -5
That's cool. Never had anyone continue a storyline of mine. I like it.
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ink of black of my soul
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Post by ink of black of my soul on Apr 2, 2007 22:33:07 GMT -5
I really enjoyed this poem. It seems very happy and upbeat. Here I continue:
Darkness envelops me; my heart, shrouded in black- downward spiral of black and blackness hey will u turn the f**king light on i'm trying to read.
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Post by Cubesix on Aug 6, 2007 19:06:34 GMT -5
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