it always snows on my birthday (a birthday poem!)

[pete gibbon]

It always snows on my birthday
Pete Gibbon

It seems like November is just a pointless
Exercise in waiting around for winter in this city.

Walking home at 5 AM
I saw the snow descending.

It always snows on my birthday;
But I’ve never taken it as a bad omen.

I don’t really mind it
Other than when I wake up inside,
This warmth is that much less comforting
Without you next to me.




(any comments would be useful)

hey, doesn't school SUCK?

[mark]

Snap Pete, well done. A couple of things I'd suggest: reworking the last stanza - it seems kind of wordy and the warmth seems to come out of nowhere (perhaps changing "this" to "the" would do the trick); also I'd add something to the third stanza - bringing up the notion of optimism is great, but you don't go very far with it. I think one more line would really pull it together. The first two stanzas are awesome, the first line especially. Happy birthday Pete.

[Queen Besserer]

I think it's beautiful, quintessential Peteness. Happy birthday friend!!

[David Emery]

I think you should try rhyming "omen" with "snowmen."

Happy birthday ace.